Reduced Circumstances

Like a lot of people in this current economy, our family is making do with less.  Unlike a lot of people, in our case, much of it is our own damn fault.  I wish I could blame the government or falling stock markets for our poverty, but nope.  It's all our doing.
Seven years ago, we were actually living pretty comfortably.  Two full time jobs, three kids, affordable rental in the city.  Then I got laid off and we mutually decided to let me stay home a little while with our kids.  Jake was being diagnosed with learning disabilities and Abby was starting school.  Aidan was still small enough to need a lot of mommy time.  It made sense.  I needed to manage Jake's special ed and potty train Aidan.  Then my grandpa died, followed by my grandma and my dad, all within about eighteen months.
So, we had the brilliant idea to have another baby.  Except my husband's insurance cost a fortune, and that cute city apartment wasn't big enough for 6 and the city's public schools were not meeting our expectations.  So we moved to the suburbs.
And I went back to work, for much less than I was making before, but with uber cheap insurance.  And Mike went back to school.  Then I lost my job, and he lost his. 
Things are better now.  I work full time, at close to my old pay level and Mike works almost full time in addition to going to school, but we're still not nearly as comfortable as we used to be.
There are some things I have learned I live just fine without, like a car payment, premium gas, multiple trips to Starbucks.  There are some things I really miss though. 
I miss department store cosmetics and shampoo.  I miss spontaneous haircuts, and the occasional mani-pedis.  Sure I am surviving on less Starbucks, but I still miss it.  Surprisingly 7-11 Brazilian Bold coffee though is very tasty and cheap.  While I don't really miss fast food, I miss it being an option when I am exhausted from working all day and just want to throw food at the kids so I can go to bed.  I miss just buying a book that interests me, rather than hunting it down on Amazon.com or BN.com for a used copy. 
This too shall pass, I know and one day I either just won't miss that stuff any more or I'll be using it again.  Just once in a while a girl needs to whine a bit.

Damn you Twizzlers!

Ok, I have zero self control, especially when it comes to candy.  Basically, grocery shopping with me is like taking a 6 year old.  Because I love candy.  Almost every kind of it.  Sure, I can pretend to be a grown up and eat small quantities of anti-oxident rich dark chocolate, but who would I be kidding.  I will follow that adult sweet with a Sour Patch Kids chaser.
But oh those damn Twizzlers.  I used to have a thing for the Pull and Peel variety.  I love food I can systematically dismantle, even better if it is encouraged by the name.  And the classics are wonderful.  The little bite sized pieces, lovely.  But I have recently discovered the Twizzlers Sweet and Sours.  It's a mix of yellow and red candy with a sour filling and I am completely and totally hooked.  We are not even discussing how many of them I have eaten over the past week. 
Not helping matters is that I work over a drug store that keeps them in stock.  And I am not supervised in the store.  So far my pants still fit but time will only tell for how long...

Play Date!

No, silly, not the kids.  My husband is doing a film project with my very dear (male) friend from college, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Oh, make no mistake, he's DOING the project.  It's good for him and he needs to do something creative to remind him of why we've been going through four years of hellishness while he goes to school.  I'm just not sure if I like my husband and my buddy playing together without yours truly.
It's not like there is any scandalous behavior between K and I.  In fact typing the very IDEA of scandalous behavior between us makes me shudder.  Not that K isn't attractive (he's freaking ADORABLE, but very taken), but I haven't thought that way about him since I was fresh out of all girls school and he had a mullet.  I know what you are thinking, but it was COOL then.  And I am reasonably certain my crush was unrequited, as K's better half is a lovely gentleman, whom I adore almost as much as K.  So, nope, no skeletons I am worried about Mike finding out.  Mike even knows that I used to stalk, I mean casually walk past, the store K worked at when we both worked in the same mall.  Which was totally a coincidence and it wasn't like there were tons of malls where we were living.  I swear on a stack of Kate Spade purses that I did not obtain a job to stalk a cute boy.  If you really know me, that is HUGE.  I <3 Kate Spade.
And it's not that I am worried that K will find out how socially inept my husband can be.  He already knows.  And seeing as Mike has won a local Emmy (it has a much longer title, but it boils down to a student Emmy) K knows Mike knows what he is doing with a camera.  And K knows that Mike thinks I am pretty damn awesome, so he's good with Mike's awkwardness. 
I think I'm worked up because K is MINE.  Not OURS.  Mike and I have been together for a long time (since high school), but we had a brief period that we broke up.  That's when I met K and we spent too much time doing community college theatre and drinking too much coffee in the local Denny's and me gagging over his clove cigarettes.  K is part of a brief period in my history where I was just Jenn, not JennandMike, or JennMikeJakeAbbyAidanandHarry.
I'm glad the boys in my life get along.  I really, truly am.  I am so incredibly thankful that I married a man who is smart enough to accept that I have remained friends with a man I had a (brief) crush on.  Lots of men are cretins about that kind of thing.  And I am blessed to have a friend from almost twenty years ago who is still around and keeps up with me and my family.  It's a pretty rare thing.  I'm just not sure if I like them playing without me.