People Who Annoy Me for No Rational Reason

Welcome to the first installment of "People Who Annoy Me For No Rational Reason". I warn you, there will be lots of installments, because I am easily annoyed. The first to be picked on is American Idol runner up, Adam Lambert.
Hey Adam? I get it. You are gay. You like men. You are out and proud. Go you! However, there is an ENTIRE SECTION of the population to whom this is NOT shocking. For a lot of us, this is merely one facet of your personality and not your entire identity.
For the record, there isn't a "double standard" of criticism because you got spanked for miming casual oral sex on network television. It was in poor taste and was unnecessary. It had nothing to do with you being a gay man. We stopped allowing our kids to watch Brittney, Christina and Miley without previewing it too.
And why were you a "mentor" on AI this year? Hello? You lost. If I were those kids, I'd like to be mentored by the winner, thankyouverymuch. "Try to be more 'Uuugggghhhhh'" is not advice. And for chrissakes, wash off like 80% of the makeup. You look like an insecure 15 year old girl sneaking into her mother's Mary Kay collection. Boy George already did it 25 years ago (how is that possible) and did it better.
Now I realize this rant seems like old news, but it came back to my attention because I just saw the "spelling" of Mr. Lambert's single. For those of us who completed second grade, it should be "What Do You Want From Me". Instead it is "Whadaya Want From Me". I'm sure spell check has discriminated against you Adam...
See I told you this was irrational, but I am glad I finally got this out of my head.

The Outsiders

I've come to realize that I don't have a single "mommy" friend I can just grab an impromtu cup of coffee with. I come from a fairly long line of women who understand the importance of girlfriends. My own daughter is named for my grandmother's two best friends, who became the family we chose. My mom quickly bonded with her fellow cheer leading moms when I was a kid. The actually gave themselves a name and performed geriatric (compared to our 12 year old selves) versions of our routines. The Outrageous Eight were legendary. My aunts both have friendships they have cultivated since high school and college.
I, however, appear to be a bit of a lone wolf. It doesn't help that I have always been one to go my own way. I had my first baby at 21, when my contemporaries were finishing college, hooking up and could still be irresponsible on occasion.
Now they are having babies, but the chasm is already too deep. They are in the honeymoon phase of parenting. Their babies will never watch more than two hours of TV a week, eat McDonalds, and don't even have to worry about whether or not they will spank, because they are using 1-2-3 Magic and will never need to.
I one the other hand, am mired in the trenches of teen and tween-dom. Also known as Parenting Purgatory. Sure, they sleep through the night, but they want to stay up all night and sleep until noon. True, no more diapers, but that also means I am no longer in charge of their hygiene. Nothing smells worse than puberty. Of course they can "use their words" but they really aren't any more rational than toddlers, with the added bonus of being louder.
Most of the other moms of kids the age of my "big" kids are ten to fifteen years older than me, and in my community, about four socio-economic classes ahead of me. I went to the New Kids On The Block concerts; they dropped me off at the door. Their kids were planned, or conceived through fertility treatments, my first was conceived on the Pill.
It's not any easier with my younger kids. We are closer to contemporaries in age, but I am not a stay home mom, and not a mom with a real "career". So I am neither fish nor fowl there either.
I am blessed with a wonderful group of long distance friends and several non-parent friends. So I am not terribly lonely, or anti-social. It just would be nice to grab the occasional cup of coffee with someone other than my four year old.

And we're back...

For multiple reasons, some in my control (laziness) some not (teenager downloading a skateboard video with a nasty virus) I've been mostly off line since October. But, here I am, giving this another go.
It turns out I think I've discovered I want to be a writer when I grow up. And as my mid 30's are upon me, I'd better get cracking. I'm not thinking the great American novel here. I have zero imagination. But I think essays are where my heart and head lie.
I had this epiphany when I found myself in the hospital, in a Cardiac Step Down Unit with a pulmonary embolism. Theoretically, I could have died, had I dismissed my "pulled muscle" pain much longer. That feels a bit dramatic, but does get my kids to do what ask them to on occasion. The thing is, there isn't a lot else to do when in the hospital like that except think. And for some reason, my thoughts sound like newspaper columns. It's a lot like I have a poorly dressed Carrie Bradshaw talking in my brain at all times.
So, look for me more often. Send constructive criticism and encouragement, and hopefully enjoy the effort.