Rejected!

It's happened. I sent a facebook friend request and it was declined. (You can tell if you look at your friend list. When you send a request, that person shows up as "pending". If they "ignore" you, they disappear.) Now, I am sure this is not the first time this has happened to me, but this is the first one that I cared about.
This particular person popped up as a someone I may know suggestion, because of a mutual friend (who DID accept my request a long time ago, thank you very much). I was really excited to see this person, because this was someone I really cared a lot about and lost touch with almost 15 years ago. He was a friend that I spent entirely too many hours at the local Denny's with after rehearsals for our community college theatre. He helped me keep my little self together the day my mom announced to me as she was dropping me off at the bus stop that my parent's divorce was final. He went along with my act that I was OK with the news, while really knowing I was devastated but too busy with tech week to actually BE devastated. He is someone I still think of fondly, and really truly wish all the happiness in the world.
Apparently, I left no such impression on him. Or at least that's how I am interpreting it. My loving husband is indulging my indignation. After all, HE married me, why wouldn't some guy want to be facebook friends with someone as wonderful as me? My PM girls (they know who they are) suggested maybe his wife isn't to keen on her husband having female friends from his past on his facebook list.
My incredibly dear friend K (who makes many excellent, insightful points, and I am honored for him to be both a facebook friend and an actual one) thinks we all need to be a little more choosy about how we use the term "friend". When these people from our pasts pop up, we are so quick to call them "friend" that we are devaluing the relationships we so carefully tend and nuture. I see what he means, as I have several people on my facebook that, while it's nice to know that they are doing well and are happy, ultimately, my life goes on exactly the same as it did before I clicked on their profiles.
So, S, I will get over your rejection. I hope your facebook page is filled with people who love you and you love back. And should you change your mind, I am happy to accept your friend request.

Are we done yet?

My husband and I have four kids.  Three boys, one girl, ages 13, 11, 7 and 3.  I realize this is a larger family than the norm in this day and age.  What I don't quite understand is why the size of my family is so incredibly interesting to other people.  So, to answer all the questions...

1) Are we done yet?  The truthful answer is I don't know.  We might be, we might not be.  It is a purely financial decision at this point in time.  If money were no object, we'd probably have a dozen, as I am a sucker for newborns and my husband adores the toddlers.  The trouble with that theory is they turn into teenagers, and those are no fun at all.  I freely admit I do the stroller peek and have to restrain myself from touching other people's infants.  I coo over baby clothes, and when bored, window shop on the internet for baby stuff.  

2) Did you plan it this way?  (Or the slightly more offensive "you know there are ways to keep that from happening")  Yes, as a matter of fact we did, thanks for asking.  Our first child was a surprise (and he is well aware of this fact, so no, I am not causing psychological damage to my child with a blog), but we were already engaged and planning on marrying and having a family.  We always planned on four kids.  We DID plan on two boys and two girls, but our last one didn't get that memo and was a boy anyway. 

3) What are you, the Duggars?  yeah...  NO.  While I share their belief that children are a gift and that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, I also believe that God gave me common sense and a great OB/Gyne.  I admire their patience and debt free life, but I am pretty sure I would be in the funny farm with 19 kids.

4) How do you DO it all?  I don't.  At any given time, something in my life is falling right through the cracks.  I've forgotten to do something at work.  I've not signed a permission slip.  I bring store bought cookies to school functions.  We eat McDonalds for dinner.  My laundry is backed up, and I am on the internet while my kids are watching a television show that may or may not be completely appropriate for them.  And I need to do the dishes.  On paper, I suck as a mom.  But to paraphrase the surprisingly wise Cindy Crawford, motherhood is a juggling act.  And sometimes I drop the ball, but I always manage to pick it back up and start all over.  My kids are happy, healthy and know they are loved.  So it can't be all bad.

Now, if you have any more questions, well you are a nosy one aren't you...

I stand corrected

My husband would like me to point out that in October of 2003, he took me to Frontera Grill, which won the James Beard award in 2008.  And for Valentines Day 2009, he took me to Lawry's for prime rib AND we both had a classic cocktail (amaretto sour for me, a Tom Collins for him).  So every five years, we go to a swanky resturant.  2014 here I come!

Shampoo

I don't make life easy for my husband of 13 years. In most ways, I am not your traditional wife and he is not your standard husband. I have never been relagated to the kitchen or been able to declare myself a "football widow". I am more of a "PBS widow", especially the cooking shows. I'm the kid of girl who assembles her own Ikea furniture with little assistance and lots of swearing.
Mostly though, I am not the kind of woman who generally goes for the whole flowers/candles/bathtub romance crap. Which should be obvious as I used the term "crap" to describe it. I find romance in Diet Dr Pepper and peanut M&Ms on a bad day, or waking up to a clean kitchen without asking for it (because unlike my husband's PBS chef heroes, he does not have a staff of PAs willing to wash his multiple dishes). I swoon when I see my husband carry our youngest son into the babysitter. Come, on, what is sexier than a good daddy?
But once in a great while, I do confess that some of the standard "girlie" things would be nice. I would love it if he would let me pick the bedding in our room. A resturant nicer than the local Appleby's (though their 2 for $20 special is a delight) would honestly rock my world. But mostly, it would be nice once in a while for the man to just tell me that he loves the smell of my shampoo...