Baby boom

I am surrounded by babies!  And it is a wonderful joyful thing.  A dear friend gave birth to twins, my brother and sister in law welcomed a baby girl through adoption, a cousin is expecting twins.  All these babies are leaving me a bit misty eyed. 
For all I complain about my four kids, given my druthers, I would have four more.  In a heartbeat.  And five or ten years ago, that was (almost) an option.  But I'm not 25 anymore.  Never mind how old I actually am, just older than 25, OK?  My youngest is about to start kindergarten this fall, and for the first time in 15 years, we will not be on the hunt for a babysitter.  My husband has one last year of school until he gets his degree.  Our finances, while slightly improving, are not where I would be able to stay home with a baby.
But two weeks ago, I got to hold my niece for the first time.  She was 4 weeks old and perfect.  As my Poppy would declare, a perfect little pot roast.  When her Gramma handed her to me, I immediately fell into the baby sway.  You know, how moms immediately start to rock back and forth when handed a baby.  I kissed her perfect, little, sweet smelling head more times than I can count.  I cooed at her, and promised we would go to the American Girl store when she is big enough.  I stood and rocked until she fell asleep, and then sat and rocked until I was finally persuaded to put her perfect little self into her bassinet.
See, I made the mistake of hurrying my first two babies along.  I couldn't wait for Jake and Abby to meet those milestones.  While Aidan was content to be a baby for a very long time, Harry had no interest in being little.  Harry is a 5 year old with a 15 teen year old attitude.  But I miss the babyhood. 
I miss diaper changes, and being up during the night with a newborn.  I know, some of you who are in the weeds there must think I am nuts, but I do.  I miss their warm little bodies, melting into my chest when I picked them up.  I miss being able to make their world perfect with just a clean diaper, warm bottle and cozy jammies.  No one has needed me to sway them to sleep for almost 5 years now. 
In all likelihood, the baby chapter of my life is coming to a close, whether I like it or not.  And just when I really feel like I have finally hit my stride as a mom.  For now, no decisions are being made.  The de facto decision is there are no babes other than the borrowed ones for the foreseeable future.  My husband isn't crazy about the notion of starting over, and the finances just aren't there.  But if you happen to need a professional baby rocker, give me a call.  Ok?